Is your spouse, friend, family, boss or colleague ticking you off with their negative behaviors? Are conditions around you not to your liking and you feel strong resistance and unhappiness? Read the news about corruption, war, crime and feel negative after that?

One of the best thing you can start doing is the art of detachment. By detachment I mean emotionally detaching yourself from situations around you-especially the negative ones. This is the art of letting things and people be. Some people say detachment means you have no ideals or goals or aim in life. That is incorrect. You can practice a form of detachment yet still have your goals firmly intact in your imagination. In fact, your daily practise in detachment will help you achieve your desires faster than if you don’t practise it.

By emotionally detaching yourself from the negative people and events around you, you are choosing to deliberately keep your emotional vibration in the positive. What it does is to help you avoid any emotional reaction to negative things that you encounter. It is a form of mindfulness, where you constantly choose only positive reaction or a non-reaction. In fact, certain types of Buddhist meditation teaches the practitioner to let any thought come to mind and to just release it without any negative emotions.

What if you are doing that your entire day, every day for 2 weeks? Imagine 14 days of non-emotional reaction to negative behaviours of other people around you.

One of the most important and basic thing we have to remember when we want to be masters of our own fate is this: We choose our thoughts and emotions. The causation of our thoughts are not events and people outside of us, but it is our mental and emotional response to things happening outside of us. We all know there are people in our lives that can interpret a neutral or positive event in their life as a negative or “worst thing that happened”. Events have no meaning other than the meaning and reaction we give to them. It is our own interpretation we must beware of.

So how do we practice detachment?

1) Stop judging, start letting things be. If your friend or spouse is negative, if your government is corrupt, if someone is unfair, instead of judging it (and therefore resisting it), try letting it be. Have a voice in your head that says, “Neh, that doesn’t affect me because I am going to create my own future”. By non-judgment, you also refrain from judging events as right or wrong. Yes, corruption is wrong, but you can choose to stop focusing on corruption of other people, and start living your life.

2) Resist not. Accept things as they are outwardly, while you imagine things as you would like to have them. Let’s face it, with things outside our control, there is no point in resisting or fighting it emotionally. You only keep your own emotional vibrations at a constant low by resisting it.

3) Carry in your mind always an image of what you want to achieve or manifest. Imagine you have a photo of yourself as the person you want to be. See yourself as successful, wealthy, happy, loved, etc. See yourself driving your ideal car, living in your ideal home. That is your target outcome picture. You must have one in your mind to remind you of your goal. It will serve as an anchor in your mind to that reality. Daily imagine it. Believe me, the more you shape that picture everyday, it is going to become easier to bring it up in your mind. Soon, you will be able to see it clearly. You may start to have dreams in your sleep about it. That is a very good sign. This picture will become useful to carry you through the ups and downs in your life. You may meet with disappointing days but recalling this picture in your mind will give you new hope. More importantly, it helps you float in the range of positive emotional vibrations where you attract positive events into your life.

Charles Koh is the author of Creating Your Personal Reality (available from and his bestselling ebook Secret Techniques Of Manifesting With Imagination available from

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